Hey good people, when we think of romance we always act like it’s so hard to emulate. And some of us tend to view romance as purely sexual which poses a problem because it creates a very linear way to look at it.
Well, today I’m going to share with you ways to be romantic and sexual without having to have full-on sex with your partner.
Some people view this conversation as being a little too controversial for younger people but I’d rather them be prepared than be very misguided and confused later on growing up.
Number one. Learn how to give a good massage. Multiple studies show that couples that engage in touching one another more usually end up happy. You don’t need to be an expert on how to configure every single muscle but simply putting your hands on your partner’s body or putting your arms around their shoulder or even grabbing their hand will trigger those endorphins that will make them feel a lot more connected to you.
Number two. Surprise your partner with a simple romantic SMS. I think where most people trip up is not that they don’t want to do it it’s that they don’t know what to do. You can always set up a warm bath and sprinkle some flower petals in there or you can just play some soft gentle music and light some candles while the two of you have dinner. Creating a mood is sometimes more about effort than it is about execution. By making a normal event special your partner is going to recognize that you’ve gone out of your way just to do it for them.
Another technique that I’ve used a lot is leaving little pieces of paper all over the house with little messages that say “I love you” or “I miss you”. Realistically how much time does it take to rip off a piece of paper write a message and just stick it somewhere? Trust me when your partner finds it it’s gonna make their day.
Number three be a good listener. We all work hard each and every day and sometimes you just want to have someone that you can talk to. Having a partner that can understand your craziness and bring you back to a soft state of calm being is invaluable.
For some guys that may mean sacrificing the idea that you need to find a logical solution for everything that your partner says. And for some girls that may mean recognizing that he’s tired and nagging him over things is only going to put more pressure on him. Good listening is knowing when to step in and ask questions that will allow your partner to open up. But complaining to your partner all the time can make them feel like they have to walk on eggshells so that they never piss you off or do anything wrong. Being a good listener requires you to stand by your partner’s side even when they’re broadcasting their anger at you.
Number four be a leader and make decisions because there’s nothing less romantic than when a person says “I don’t know what do you want to do?” When it comes to you planning something your partner wants to know that they can take a step back and relax because you have it all under control.
There will be plenty of times where the two of you have to work together to decide something but having your partner step up and take leadership can be very comforting. And it’s when the leadership role becomes expected that the romance begins to die. Take for example a case where a girl wants a guy to always pick where they eat or a guy wants a girl to always cook for him. It’s a really good habit to get into when you can switch things up and surprise your partner sometimes.
Number five. I know I said these weren’t about sex but this is about gaining a strong understanding of what your partner likes sexually. Some people don’t like going down on others some don’t like to have the lights on hell some people even like to wear costumes. Whatever you and your partner are into make sure both of you are open about that type of communication. Plus you’ll gain plenty of romance points if you’re willing to experiment and find out what truly pleases your partner. There is an amazing book on this topic called She Comes First by Ian Kerner.
Basically what it talks about is how a guy can learn to focus his initial sexual tension on a girl so he can bring her to the same heightened sexual desire state that he’s in. I got this book as well from Hello Cheri. They really have an amazing selection of books on sexual compatibility for partners so you should definitely check it out.
What do you guys think though what are some of the things that you’ve done to try and add romance to your relationship? Leave your comments below so we can talk about it.